Manners & Etiquette

When you think about good manners, some people focus on proper etiquette at the table, but manners are so much more than that. Good manners extend to making eye contact and paying full attention to the person you are speaking to, saying yes, no, please and thank you, avoiding gossip and behaving in a way that puts other people at ease and makes them feel comfortable around you.

I was recently at a gathering where I ran into an old friend who had her two children in town The oldest, a boy, was 7 and the younger daughter was 4. Normally bringing children to a party can be risky, but these two had such excellent manners that one could easily forget that they were youngsters. Both were polite, spoke comfortably with adults and handled themselves appropriately around the buffet.

I commented to my friend about how wonderfully her children were behaving and she thanked me for my compliment, saying that she was very proud of how well her children handled themselves in public. Then she confided that they weren't always quite as well behaved at home, but she expressed great satisfaction about having been able to instill in them a sense of the importance of good manners, as this skill will enable them to function well in any situation as they become adults.

Another good friend of mine works in human resources in a large corporation and says that her company receives many resumes from applicants who can't even be considered for hire due to their poor manners. Some are clueless about good phone etiquette, while others use rude language when addressing the interviewer or speak far too loudly. This lack of basic manners can actually ruin opportunities for potential employees who would otherwise be quite capable.

Fortunately, good manners are something that anyone can learn, so it is very important that we all practice using good manners, especially around those who don't use them. You always have an opportunity to set a good example for others, especially children, by how you handle yourself in public.

We can actually help to make someone's day by using good manners. Maybe it means greeting others with direct eye contact, a smile and a firm handshake, or holding a door open for someone, or hanging up our cell phones when dealing with other people such as cashiers and newsagents. It is all about thoughtfulness in our daily interactions with the people around us.

Good manners reflect tact, diplomacy and consideration for our fellow man. Using good manners is a powerful way to show our respect for others and at the same time feel confident in every situation.