Friday, September 18, 2009

"Like attracts like?"

Are you familiar with the expression, "Like attracts like"? Recently I had an experience with a friend who was struggling with this idea. He was having difficulty coming to grips with certain emotions he was experiencing. He felt controlled by them and this was creating a lot of tension for him. The more he fought his feelings, the stronger their hold over him seemed to be.

I completely understood his frustration and assured him that his situation was not unusual. I told him that, with a little work, he could overcome this obstacle. I began by introducing him to the so-called "Universal Law of Attraction". According to this law, we attract that which we focus on with the most intensity, and this attraction can create a positive or negative experience depending on its nature. In my friend's case, it meant that when he focused on emotions or feelings that made him uncomfortable, he ended up creating more of those uncomfortable feelings in the process.

Of course, just telling him this wasn't enough. We needed a workable solution. I suggested that he try looking at his unresolved emotions in a different way. Instead of battling his feelings, I asked him to look at them without judgment. I wanted him to focus on the root of his emotional turmoil because, as that point, he would be in a position to make adjustments to his behavior.

My friend took my instructions to heart and began observing his difficult feelings. He told me that life flowed easier when he could refrain from making judgments on his emotions and, as a result, he was soon feeling much better about himself. By just listening to these emotional messages, rather than just getting upset or worried by them, he no longer felt so controlled by them. And, once he could really listen to his feelings, he was able to get a better grip on why those feelings were coming up.

Now, I hope that you will spend some time thinking about the Law of Attraction and the primary focus of your energy. What are you attracting into your life? My hope is that your health, wealth and happiness will provide you with some insights.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Manners & Etiquette

When you think about good manners, some people focus on proper etiquette at the table, but manners are so much more than that. Good manners extend to making eye contact and paying full attention to the person you are speaking to, saying yes, no, please and thank you, avoiding gossip and behaving in a way that puts other people at ease and makes them feel comfortable around you.

I was recently at a gathering where I ran into an old friend who had her two children in town The oldest, a boy, was 7 and the younger daughter was 4. Normally bringing children to a party can be risky, but these two had such excellent manners that one could easily forget that they were youngsters. Both were polite, spoke comfortably with adults and handled themselves appropriately around the buffet.

I commented to my friend about how wonderfully her children were behaving and she thanked me for my compliment, saying that she was very proud of how well her children handled themselves in public. Then she confided that they weren't always quite as well behaved at home, but she expressed great satisfaction about having been able to instill in them a sense of the importance of good manners, as this skill will enable them to function well in any situation as they become adults.

Another good friend of mine works in human resources in a large corporation and says that her company receives many resumes from applicants who can't even be considered for hire due to their poor manners. Some are clueless about good phone etiquette, while others use rude language when addressing the interviewer or speak far too loudly. This lack of basic manners can actually ruin opportunities for potential employees who would otherwise be quite capable.

Fortunately, good manners are something that anyone can learn, so it is very important that we all practice using good manners, especially around those who don't use them. You always have an opportunity to set a good example for others, especially children, by how you handle yourself in public.

We can actually help to make someone's day by using good manners. Maybe it means greeting others with direct eye contact, a smile and a firm handshake, or holding a door open for someone, or hanging up our cell phones when dealing with other people such as cashiers and newsagents. It is all about thoughtfulness in our daily interactions with the people around us.

Good manners reflect tact, diplomacy and consideration for our fellow man. Using good manners is a powerful way to show our respect for others and at the same time feel confident in every situation.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Changes...

Something about the change of the seasons always gets me motivated to straighten and clean my home. I like to begin this project with my closets, because it prompts me to get rid of things I no longer need, while creating new space in the process.

Did you know that sleeping in a room with clutter or overstuffed closets can make you feel restless and disrupt your sleeping patterns? This may sound strange to you, but it shows the negative effect that clutter can have on us. If this is happening to you, it may be a good idea to look at the state of your bedroom as well as its closets. By clearing away the things you no longer need, you give order to your room and create new space in your home, which in the end makes you feel more relaxed and comfortable.

I know that clearing your home of clutter can seem an overwhelming job to take on. Often it's hard to know where to begin. I'm going to share my technique for de-cluttering, which I think helps to sort and clear clutter with relative ease. With a few boxes and a little time and effort, you can be on your way to creating a more orderly, calm, and peaceful space.

First, you will need 3 medium-sized boxes, labeled with the following terms: "donate," "doesn't belong here," and "not ready to let go of yet." You will also need a large trash bag for the stuff that simply needs to be thrown away.

Now, you are almost ready to begin, but first I want to give you some important advice. You'll want to start by going through the items in your closet quickly, deciding how you want to classify each item. In my experience, if you linger over this decision-making, you might not end up getting rid of anything! Here are some questions to help you classify your items: how often do you use it, do you have more than one of the same thing, and if it is clothing, does it still fit? When it comes to memorabilia, only keep those objects that are too important to let go of. If you are not sure about an item, put it in the box marked "not ready to let go of yet."

Once you've finished de-cluttering your closet(s), tackle the clutter in and on your dresser, shelves, and the area under your bed. When you have finished your sorting, you can return the items you've decided to keep to their proper places in an orderly fashion.

Next, put your trash bag(s) in the garbage, your box with items to be donated into your car to be dropped off at your local charity, then take the box with the misplaced items and return them to where they belong. Lastly, set your box with things you "can't let go of yet" aside for a few months, and if after that time you aren't feeling the pull, donate that box, as well.

After you have done this de-cluttering and clearing, you will definitely feel a huge sense of relief. You may even get inspired to do other parts of your home. If that happens, go for it! Your reward will be a home environment that is organized, peaceful, and harmonious.

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